In Game: at Loyola Chicago

[raptorcat]

Stories from the Courtroom, continued: A defendant Calls Me "Fat"

I had been a judge for a couple of years and was starting to get comfortable with handling criminal sessions of Superior Court; in private practice, I had earned my bread and butter on the civil side and had never been involved in any criminal cases. Now they took up about 70% of my time on the bench. Each side of the coin had its own customs and rhythms, although trial procedures and the rules of evidence made the jury trials very similar. One difference, however, was how we spent courtroom time after the trial had concluded, but the jury was still deliberating the outcome. The assistant district attorneys liked to use the time to bring forth cases where in-custody defendants were pleading guilty and it was up to me to go over his plea transcript with them, make sure they understood the proceedings and what the possible sentence would be. Each plea would take about ten minutes on average, and the common practice back in the day was for the bailiffs to bring them into the courtroom in groups of three, and seat them behind the prosecution counsel table or in the empty jury box.

We had been in a lengthy first-degree murder trial all week, and the jury was taking its time in reaching a verdict. The bailiffs brought in three defendants, all dressed in orange jumpsuits that said "Guilford County Jail" on the back. The first two cases were minor felonies; the defendants had relatively clean records, and I gave them split sentences which credited the time they'd served in jail while awaiting sentencing, with a suspended sentence and supervised probation for the balance. That way, they could be processed out of jail and be released to their probation officers for supervision.

The third inmate was a young guy, small in stature, from a community adjacent to High Point that we smug High Pointers like to call "L.A.," short for "Lower Archdale." His case was a bit atypical: he was charged with the felony of phoning in a bomb threat to his workplace. As he stood before me, a cocky little bantam rooster dwarfed in his oversized orange jumpsuit, I considered his prior criminal record. It wasn't good. Nothing violent, but lots of petty crimes that indicated to me that he'd had a busy career being on the wrong side of the law.

The DA recited the facts: the defendant had been tasked with taking his employer's truck for a gas fill-up at the nearby convenience store. He evidently decided he didn't want to return to work and he phoned in the bomb threat at the payphone outside; the police had been able to trace the call there. When the officers arrived to question witnesses, the store clerk said, "Yeah, a guy stopped to fill up the truck, paid for the gas, and then made a quick phone call." They found the defendant, arrested him without incident, and charged him with the bomb threat call and unauthorized use of a motor vehicle. I decided to teach him that "stupid hurts" and gave him an 8-10 months active sentence. His cockiness drained away when I passed the sentence, but as the bailiffs led him out of the courtroom, they had to take him out the side door, which was fairly close to where I sat. He said in a stage whisper to one of the bailiffs, "That fat old motherf***er was easy on everyone else."

I said, "Whoa, stop right there. What did you just say?" He defiantly said he didn't have anything else to say to me. It was late in the day and the jury was going to have to continue their deliberations the next day, so I told the bailiffs to bring him back before me in the morning and I'd decide whether to hold him in contempt.

A wise senior judge once told me that I could give defendants 30 days for each cuss word they uttered. When I got home, I asked Mrs.Raptorcat whether "Motherf****r" was one word or two. She opined that it was a compound word and should only count as one. The next day, a chastened defendant stood before me; I explained that my wife said I should only give him an additional 30 days for contempt of court instead of 60. He apologized and thanked me for going easy on him. I said, "I admit to being fat and I may be getting old, but I am not that other thing you called me."

GO CATS!

[Dr. Bliss]

Perfect!

[MrMac]

Mrs. Raptor with the assist. Go Cats. Beat the Ramblers. (Though I truly loved the cars they used to make.)

[wildforthecats]

Wow! Mrs Raptor sets a great screen and the flush by that Raptor mother******!

[seamac77]

Doubt you would have been on the receiving end of such a potty mouth utterance had Roxanne loomed behind the bench.

[JCDC]

we need a win to move up to a 3 way tie for 11th. ESPN says we're 4.5 point underdogs.

[seamac77]

don't miss the early start. 1:00 PM

[JCDC]

Listening to the obituaries on WHIP. Happy I wasn’t on the list.

[MLC67]

It’s on; let’s go Cats, wreck the Ramblers!!

[MrMac]

No ESPN+ for this game?

[JCDC]

Oops. Radio is on https://thevarsitynetwork.com/feed/sour ... -Live-1396

[i77cat]

No ESPN+ for this game?

No. CBSSN.

[JCDC]

Kind of a wild start

[i77cat]

Still scoreless for us. 3 minutes, 4 turnovers. Only down 0-2.

[i77cat]

16:30, up 3-2. Des is trying too hard.